don't stop make it pop

it's been awhile since i felt this way about a person. the impatience i feel when you're about to come over. the butterflies i get when you send me a text, even just waiting for you to text back. the random smiles i get when i think about our conversations. i'm scared but it's a good scared because without it we wouldn't have meaning. ahhh. i wish it was 6 already so i can get ready & be able to seee you (: even if it's only an hour, it'll be fun.

you rock my socks boyfriend. i better go study. fuuuuck.

house of night

the problem with not thinking and just doing is the after effects of what you're actually getting yourself into. & sometimes confessing just makes you feel stupid. haha. but don't worry, over time you'll just think to yourself that it just wasn't meant to be. if the other half of whom you are in interest with doesn't feel the same, then just fuck it. shit happens and when they do, you act like a scared little bitch, suck it up. because no one likes a cry baby.

anywaaaay! i've got 5 books to read.

1. marked, a house of night novel

2. the lightening thief (which i think they're making a movie)

3. vampire academy

4. frostbite

5. the ingenious edgar jones

as of right now, thats the order that i'm going. but i might read some different ones. i'm almost done with marked. & i think i might read the vampire ones first, since marked is about vampyres.

i guess all i can do is bear and grin, bear and grin.

i wanna reptar shirt /: & a leather jacket & new boots that make that clicky sound. & some heels. & new hair.

russian roulette

my sisters all drugged up on vicodin, so im about to spend the night there and come back with some new clothes. yeeee!

i love this cold weather. (: esp. when it looks like it's about to rain outside, hella pretty even though it's dark and gloomy. you gotta admit, it's nice. to sit there and drink hot chocolate. it's comforting just a little...

i realize that you suck, you could never hold up to his standards. you could never hang. and you could never make yourself available for anyone. not even if they have any potential for you. you always gotta hold back. you fucked up your own life. and it's your fault that you're in this mess. the only one you should be blaming, is yourself. because you're the one who let all this bad shit happen to you. so no wonder no one wants to be around you, because you've changed yourself. you may think it's for the good, but tell me. are you happy? you basically have no real friends, no one to kick it with and no friends to depend on.

so the next one that comes walking up your door, please. please! do not do the same thing you do to everyone else because this one may be the one to change you, (so my sister called me to her room just a second ago & she just told me how douches are used.... gross) and if he does change you then good. you need it. don't over think things, you do it every time and every time you do it look where it lands you...

dont think, just do.