5.29.2009

here we go again...

and there i go again, thinking of you...

i dreamt about you, it was hella weird... for the past two days it was all about you.

and then today of all days when i go out, i see you riding to work...

the image of you standing on your bike looking towards where you were headed and your helmet not even closed is burnt into my mind every time i think of you now that image is in my mind... every moment of it i remember.

but as fast as i saw you, the faster you left to be forgotten, only to be remembered inevitably in my mind every time i think of your name, your bike... 

god i miss you so much

5.21.2009

and the winner isss....


say hello to one of the sexiest faces ive ever seen && the winner of american fuckn idol; KRIS MOTHAFUCKN ALLEN, bitches!! my man won. the fck did i say!? eeee!

ok, too much excitement....

anyway, so tdy is the day!! 

i passed english370 aww yeah aww yeah!!!
here's my essay:
NOTE: I lied in a paragraph, it just went with what i was saying... but idgaf i passed!!

Forgiveness' Freedom

Do you find yourself constantly thinking about a situation where you or a friend was hurt? Are you over analyzing the events that happened and the choices that were made? With the thought of hatred and regret in one hand and the thought of forgiveness in the other, which one should you choose? If you choose to forgive a person of their sins, are you sure they won't do it again? But if you choose to continue to stay angry, are you just holding yourself back? These are the questions everyone faces throughout their lives. It doesn't matter what the situation is. Many people ask themselves questions like these everyday. I believe that forgiveness should not be taken lightly. It may take awhile to forgive, but at the end of it all forgiveness brings peace.

Forgiveness is just as important as love. Many people make mistakes and regret the things that happened with someone else and themselves. In "Finding Freedom in Forgiveness" Jennifer Thompson-cannino forgives Ronald Cotton, the man she thought had raped her, yet he had already forgiven her a long time ago. Forgiving someone is a hard thing to do. So many years went by with the false rape charges, but Thompson-cannino stated, "I believe in forgiveness - the kind that has the power to release a person from a place of anger and hate, to place of peace" (1). I agree that forgiveness does put many people at peace. With the knowledge of being forgiven people move on with their lives. They aren't constantly thinking about the past, but more focused on the future.

It's true that forgiveness give peace; however, in some cases forgiveness is the hardest decision to make. My ex-boyfriend had cheated on me with my cousin in 2006. You can only imagine the hatred and hurt I felt whenever the thought of them being together crossed my mind. I thought I could never forgive them for putting me in such a bad position. A year later, everything cooled down and my life got better. But in the back of my mind they were still there waiting for a spark, a clue to come back into my life. Eventually I had to make a choice to move on or to stay angry and bitter for the rest of my life. It was a tough decision and I'm still pondering if it was the right thing to do. I decided to forgive them for hurting me. I realized there were more people to meet and more scandals to discover. Cotton stated, "I had to let the hate go, and learn to live and forgive" (1). I had done exactly what Cotton had done. Although it didn't take me as long to forgive, I felt at ease with myself. That's when I truly moved on.

In the end, forgiveness is an experience that many people go through everyday. They ask themselves many questions to see if forgiveness is the choice that should be made. It is just as easy as hard it it to forgive someone. At the end of all the constant thinking and the inevitable hurt we all share forgiveness brings out peace  in each and every one of us. Forgiveness shows us the importance of itself. Whenever we feel at peace it is also forgiveness that we're feeling. There is only one fault that forgiveness carries and it's that everyone can forgive, but no one will ever forget.

mwahaha. the last sentence is my favoriteee (:

wooo tmw we leave at 7 in the morning to tahoeeee. 
it's mark, my mom, michael, charlie, xye & i going weeeee it should be fun & hopefully i get to see nevada, if he even goes... bitch won't text me back, fucker. 
UGH ive been cleaning since fuckn 11:30! and it's already 2 i'm takin a break since everyones home now. mwahahahahha.
all i gotta do now is text, pack, eat, sleep & watch tv.

i missed my desperate housewives, damit! kk i think ima go pack or at least think about it.

5.20.2009

audrina mothafuckn miranda!!!!

good luck on your pageant tonight!! 

take pictures and post that shit on your myspace!! mwahaha. ill hella comment!!

&&& i hope you winnnn. OMG IF YOU DO, WE'RE TOTALLY GNA CELEBRATE; PIAAAA style babbbyyy(:

woooo. & if you don't win, well.... we'll drink anyway... watch the dvd they give you & talk shit about all the girls!! mwahahahhaa. it'll be fun either way.

buuuut good luck anyway!!!



& that dear is for you. (: 
if i could go you know id hella bring some that would probably be bigger than myself. -_-
hahaha, man just thinking about that makes me laugh...

But don't fret about your butterflies they'll go away i swear.

good luccckkk tho!!!!




5.18.2009

meeee and you belong, ohh i wanna run, run smash into you

hehe. nice ass song.

i am officially excited cas my friend is gna come live with me starting thursday. (:

i can't wait to go to tahoe. i might be able to see nevada(: yeeees. i wanna look into those blue eyes and have him stare at me like at dinner mwahahaha!!

good times good times.

and it was nice talking about high school and prom with xyerine. 

byeeee

5.17.2009

tans fade?

hella didn't know they did 'til tiffany told me.

ugh, i hate it when you look at someones page when you're hella bored and it happens to be someone you had a thing with and you hella think about the things that happened between you... and you just tell yourself, "WTF WERE YOU THINKING!!??" and it's just hella weird to even just think about them and you doing the things you both did. and you just wanna text the one person who knew every bit about you back then, but you stop and don't because it would just be hella weird... so you end up writing about it on your blog instead.


PAAATHEEEETICCCC, i know! ARGH.

/:

i kinda miss the past, and all the people that were in my life that made me, me today. EXCEPT some people that i would rather forget completely. because without those particular people, i think i'd be a different person. Id still be out there smoking, drinking, driving (but not at the same time as drinking!) but then again... id still be the same person i was back then...

i haven't changed one bit, only maybe a few parts of me have changed. i'm actually kinda a better person than i was before except the part where i don't really go out much... but hey, if the friends i have now couldn't accept the fact that i hang out with my family a whole lot more than i should, then they aren't really my friends, right? because real friends are there for you through thick&thin.

"you know how i know you're a real friend?"
"how?"
"cas when we had beef, you hella came up to me and hella told me we weren't cool.."

"you know how i knew you were a good friend?"
"how?"
"when we were eating wendy's and i was hella hungry, and i finished my food already... you gave me your food"

those may not be the exact words, but fuck that's how it kinda went & i still laugh at that.
good times good times.

idk. i regret some things i did in the past, because when i think about it now... it was really stupid of me to even consider doing the things i did. i think i just wanted the attention, because my heart got broken and i didn't know how to handle it... so i just didn't really handle it at all? idk i guess i kinda did? i shoulda just died my hair instead of numbing my feelings...

cas when you numb your feelings for so long it's hard to get them all back... and it's hard to care about stuff that you know you should care about, but you still dont....

message to you:
i think you hate me. i think about how you used to look at me when you loved me, and when you looked at me during those lovely confusing 3 months of 08... and the way you looked at me during the party... it's like i was the one who you wanted dead. like you were thinking why the fuck i was talking to you... i think you hate me because im good friends with the girl who finally gave you a taste of what you're probably gonna do to many girls to come. idk i think im over analyzing what could have happened if i just didn't say anything about 'us'... even so, you'll always have a place in my heart, the love i have for you is like a rock, it just wont fucking move... no matter how much i want it to go away... but have a good life, even if you might not deserve it; i just want you to be happy. even if i never get to see your face again... ily.


UGH EMO moment. sorry. haven't had those in a while.




gaaaaah i want nevadaaa. both ways (;

5.16.2009

kookookachu.

finding nemo!! i loveee this movieee!! i think i want some popcorn. /: maybe i'll make some...


"gimme some fin, noggin... duuudeeee"
"jelly man, off-spring... off-spring, jelly maan"

mwahahahahaha. it's hella hot tdy. & i dont feel sick anymore.

i wanna go to tahoeee.
mmmmmmm nevadaaaa(:
i can't wait.


why is everyone on the disney channel have that promise ring to not have sex?
id rape a few of em. haha!

aurdina knows who too!

5.14.2009

allergies

PS. i gotta new MAC eyeshadowww (:

saaay hello to my new freshwater.

ooooh but for janine's graduation tho she's getting this purple pinkish dress & i am hella gonna get...
i can't find it! wtf. FML

ugh. my allergies are hella bad tdy. & i don't even have any medicine to drink.

butttt. i did finish my eng lab!!! (: yeeee.

then i found out that someone was yellin at someone who didn't deserve to be yelled at.
BITCH, she was lookin out for me. You need to calm the fuck down cas she isn't the only one who's had your name in her mouth. dumbfuck. everyone talks shit about everyone. grow the fuck up.

theeeen went with tiffany to the mall & met brian(:

mmmm then went & got vicious, bitch kept biting me! ugh wtf. & i met carlos and his sister? i guess she went to rodriguez? but i dont remember her... hah saw mike, haven't seen that fool in hella long!!

it was a dope day, now i just have my math final & my medical terminology final too.
bring it fuckn' on biiiitches!!

my throat feels weird, guess cas my allergies. it's all itchy & shiiit.

i'm bored watching CSINY, but it's cool cas this is myy baby(:

5.13.2009

new new.

changed up the blog cas i'm at home hellaaa bored.

i was gna go to the gym, but something came up & we had to leave sooo i stayed home instead.

& i did a natural smokey eye kinda look? idk. buuut yess. we're havin

shrimp alfredo for dinner.(: im uber hungry right now. & im writing this blog instead of doing homework like normal asian girls would do. so i guess ima start it. that way i can get that shiiit done. i got finals for it next week hopefully i pass with a D. i needa C to transfer though. /: gaaay


gym tmw!? yeeee.

this is pointless. idk why you're still reading this shit. im gna blog later. maybe.

cas my baby is on tv tnight.

KRIS MOTHAFUCKN ALLEN.(: aww yeah awww yeah!!!

5.09.2009

one class down, three to go.

hhh i gotta run a 5 mile final for my pe how gay is that?

i just found out this guy hasn't even seen any recent movies at all. he only knows his disney movies. wtf. you fail!!

i get to see my gma tmw & look hella cute in my pink shirt, me & drinas' twin shorts! (: & myyy new black sandals i got from wetseal. hella juiced i get to dress up!! i just needa place to find so i can wear my black dress i got for hella cheap. anyone wanna take me on a hella exspensive date or a company party?! jk jk.

took my CME. i hope i pass im not tryna do 370 all over again i hella won't survive another semester of that bullshit. i wanna be in english 1 already.

WHY THE FUCK! before the test some guys were walking by me, "oh i see you girl... i see you" (wtf... keep walking keep walking text someone wtf!!) "ey where you goin?!" "i'm goin to class, sup shorty?" "oh, hi..." hella tryna talk to me & shit. i was like wtf can you leave me alone!? then when i was about to go to class hella knocked on the door like he was god "you wanna go to lunch sometime?" "oh, i dont think my boyfriend would like that" "oh, im not tryna fuck with that" (good bitch! i dont want you to) hella walked away to the bathroom hella fast.

i want these classes to be over already. im ready for new classes and new people to see.

i wanna go to the dixon fair!!! take me!?
oohhh & i wanna watch wolverine & obsessed as well.

im gonna research something.

MIMI! let's go on a date to the fair. i'll hold your hand(;

5.06.2009

you gon be jealous, & like it!

tdy was hella irritating.

went to school, didn't even go to class. played jeopardy with tiffanys class cas i was waiting for her & they hella let me. got them 200 points! yee!! am i smart at math tho this time. FINALLY. hah

to & got vicious(:

then picked up jessica & tony. at first! it was all good. then my mom called yellin the fuck outta me killin my mood hella fuckn bad like wtf? i told you i was going to hang out with tiffany tdy dumb bitch. wtf. & i told her i was goin to the club but ima tell mark instead again tmw i think haha. to make sure i can go forsure!

waited for drina for hella long! but its all good we gotta appetizer while waiting haha.
theeen went to sonics for drinks. bought everyone a drink! only $6.98 so i wasn't trippin.

then get to wingstop gotta hug from tony & he put his arms around me(: highlight of the day kinda. but then after he started acting funny and got all mad and shit. i was hella about to yell at him. but i didn't want to cas i know i was about cry if i did i was hella frustrated and shit cas the day was hella ruining my mood of actually going out for the week.
dropped him off at home, tiffany kicked him out the car. DIDNT EVEN SAY BYE just like drina said, "HELLA RUDEE!!" haha
then went home, took a shower & talked to mimi about stalking people. haha. we gna go on the run to _______. right mimi!?

hah. then watched my baby on tv saved him yee!
now ima do homework, call tony up & sleep. & text of course.

clubb sat. yeee. we finna break necks like no other!! ima post hella pictures!
WE GON LOOK FINE & YOU GON LIKE IT & BE JEALOUS