"i got the swine flu" "OH WTF GET OUT!!"

caaan i please getta boy like this!? mmm yummy.

haha hella funn tdy.

idk if we're talking tho... hah. gaaay.

haha mimi is hella funny.

DRAMA.

I'm sayin this here cas i probably wont be able to say it in person cas there's certain people that i want to be there when i say all this shit. so if you want, we can all arrange it. doubt the one person who's in the center of this whole entire drama would even show. & don't go sayin i'm a pussy cas i didn't say this shit in person. i would have cas this shit is seriously stupid as hell. i didn't say anything cas i want aeriel to be the first to talk shit about audrina.

cas seriously. wtf is hating audrina gonna do? she didn't do anything to you, she only did it to aeriel. & who let it happen? kevin, but freals... who didn't think that kevin would actually not cheat on aeriel with another female? if it hadn't been audrina it would've been some other bitch that we all dont even know. and if you seriously thought that kevin wouldn't cheat on you & that you guys went through so much shit... wow that's cute and hella naive of you. shoulda thought better when i told you he already cheated on you that one day at school. instead of hella believing him... haha!

& at least, aeriel... it wasn't your COUSIN that he cheated you on with.
yeah i get that you guys didn't do anything until after we broke up. but i'm pretty dam sure you guys started talking in between that, no need to front. i really dont care anymore. he may have loved you then, but i do know he hella doesn't like you anymore. they told me about your relationship with him. & it seriously sounded like you were tryna be me. it really did. but it's cool.

hah. it's funny how the shit you did to me, happened with your bestfriend... but she did it to you. so tell me dear cousin, how does it feel? does it hurt? do you feel this emptiness inside you cas he doesn't want you anymore? how does it feel to have the one person to TAKE YOUR VIRGINITY and the one person you love beyond reason love you one day & the next he's gone & theres absolutely nothing you can do about it?

PLEASE. just stop acting like the victum of a horrible friendship because your dumbass did the same fucking shit to me. so stop being some dumbass bitch & stop feeling sorry for yourself because we ALL knew he'd do it to you too someday. exactly one year & a few months. just like me. so just fucking stop cas it's seriously fucking stupid.

you can't hate someone for giving you a taste of what you've done yourself.

YES i know it was wrong for her do that to her 'bestfriend' and what not. and it's really fucked up that kevin did that to you, your my cousin & i love you, but at the same time sometimes i just really hate you & when i heard about what audrina had done, i was pretty amazed that it finally happened to you.

but i was still angry because it was kevin that she fucked around with. that's the only real reason why i hated her. because it was kevin.

call me jealous, call me stupid, talk shit i really don't care anymore. i've said my piece i probably have more. im just not really thinking right now.

& OMFG. are you serious?!
i love how you said you couldn't be friends with her because if she did to me, she's probably do it to you. as a matter of fact she kinda did. with jeremy. when you went away to disney land & when you came back it was them that were talking. but good shit it wasn't when you guys were dating & in love, huh?

but oh now. when i became friends with here again, you guys are now bffs again? wow.

i know your hella mad cas i dont go out all the time anymore & i never really stood up for myself & i couldn't do shit on my own & i was hella stupid, but really... i do miss hanging out with you & hella laughin cas i mean we did hella laugh & shit. but i really could care less if we were friends again.

but freals, we know that you guys don't like audrina, but you really don't gotta go and put it all over tiffanys page saying "fuck audrina" & all that shit. but whatever do what you wanna do, cas i know you'll do it anyways.

but, why do you hate her? i know why aeriel does. but do you have a solid reason to honestly hate her? besides the fact that she gave aeriel what she deserved? don't lie you know aeriel deserved it after all the shit that her & kevin put me through you were there melanie. you heard the break up, you knew the way he acted. all the times he tried to flirt with you. dont tell me aeriel fell for his trap. dont tell me that aeriel didn't deserve that shit. cas you know she did.

go ahead call me fake cas im friends with audrina again. but don't tell me that we're all not fake. cas i know we all are. but i guess thats the grown shit to do nowadays. since everyones hated & when you see them in person your hella fake to them, so it doesn't seem like you still got beef or whatever.

i'm just doin me & if i'm 'fake' so be it. i really dont care. and i'll be real with who i wanna be real with.

i never forgot JAM and all the shit we've been through & the shit we're still goin through. hah. in a few years we'll all probably laugh about this shit, but who knows.

it freals up to you guys what happens with this.

& if you do wanna kick audrinas ass, then fuck go ahead but know that it probably is for a fucking dumb reason.

if we're all so grown, get the fuck over it.
i forgave aeriel for the shit she did to me, well almost. i dont get hella super mad anymore like i usually did. but sometimes i do. depends how i'm feelin that day.

& you'll be the death of me

&& yet as strong as i allow myself to be, you still have the face that'll make me love you & make me feel like shit at the same time.

the lease you can do is try to be my friend, i don't appreciate you ignoring me & making me look like an idiot.

i hate what you do to me.

i miss the past.

i hate loving you so much, but i love loving you.

& this is why i'll never move on.

cas you'll always be there person in the back of my mind telling me, "don't do it babe, im coming back; just wait for me"

send me the pictures from lastnightttt. (: AHEM, drina & tiff

gotta love it.

never in my life. have i ever made drinks for my family or almost drank with them. i made mixed drinks & drank it, but i couldn't play tip the cup because most the parents i dont want to see me drinkin was outside. some of my auntys can drink tho! is you mad?

after the party we went bowling at stars. i got bit by so many mosquitos it's crazy. it was worth it tho. cas i had fun even tho i suck at bowling. i got one strike tho!! it was funn.

let's club next time. it'll be crackin!

I wanted to know you. But karma's a trip now. You probably shouldn't have left me standin' alone. I wanted to love you.

mmm karma's a trip, love. (:

NLT is hella cute haha. well some of them.
i have a tummy ache from eating too fast. nothing really new. seen kevin yesterday before class. hah nice seein you, but it was weird seeing you. I haven't seen you in so long. you look weird with your beard. /: hella weird. just lettin you know.

spring breeeak is finally here. im so excited to sleep and just chill. too bad i have medical terminology homework. fuckn gay!

let's hang out with week! (:
call me.
text me.

gaaah i kind of have a headache from not eating this afternoon too.
i'm thinkin of texting you, but what good would that do?
would you still act the same?
would you even TRY this time?
would you even care?
cas right now i really dont give a fuck.

sad boys suck. faaaail.

i wonder how many people everyday all over the world is looking at the same myspace page...

random, but whatever.

it aint too late to work things out.

i wish it was raining. im sleepy. again! fuck.
i feel like singing, but im not gna. haha.

mmmm k im bored. im gna go do my homework. and listen to music and bother janine. texttt me.

I can change your life if you let me, i can do it i know just what you need

mmmm. sometimes when that song comes on i get butterflies in my stomach and i think of your face and how you called me love. but then when the song ends i'm reminded by all the many things that ended up happening between us.

why did my mom just ask me about this sweater that's hella cute.

besides that.

im hella bored. & this blog is boring. i bought red vines though! and twix ( reminds me to keke /: )
i love that 70's show hella funny.

ugh angie is bringing me foood i'm soo hungry dam it!!

aaah, i made a list for a guy that i want, but i haven't really put much thought into it. i think i need to work on it more. a lot more. wanna help?

"little red riding bitch!!!"

k idk what to write.
i dont miss you much anymore. hah

you'll never see me again, so now who's gonna cry for you?

went to the candyshoppp!!

soooo.

went to school, went to lab for like almost 2 hours. with nothing to do so i played with my ipod. then as i was leaving i seen pao! & francis! i was talking to them for a quick minute and i seen alex too, but i didn't say hi because i was talking. ): sorry

then went home & just chilled. at some cheese it chex mix thing. it was hella good. & i watched "Bed Time Stories" it was hellof funny! and cuteee

then got picked up by jenny's mom. went to her house & started gettting ready for the clubbb. we stayed in her bathroom like the whole entire time. but we left hella late cas joelles aunty got stuck in tracy.

then joelle, jordan, jenny & i went to go pick up justin.

"why's it so quiet here?"
"do you feel awkward justin?"
"yeah i do..."
"then talk.."

we drank pomoson... i think that's how you spell it.. idk
then hella honey coated blunts.

it was like an 8th?
idk

then we finally got to club, took hella long to get in. i saw leeann but i got hella lost going back into the line... haha!
-_- hella embarrassing.

then i found audrina & chad when we went to the bathroom.
soo then we went upstairs and danced
hella humidity.... my hair was curly when i got there & 20 minutes later, it got all flat & i put hairspray too!!
faiiil.
then danced hella.
some asian guy tried to feel me up that fucker. probably thought i was hella faded, bitch! i wasn't. made me hella mad. i wanted to punch him in the face.

OMG! random people there!
like anthony
& that guy from at&t i think is cute. haha. he looks better in his uniform tho. haha!

it was kinda fun.

i think its funner when i'm either just drinking and not dancing. or if i have someone to dance with.

i hate dancing with random people... i feel weird. haha oh weeeellll

life isn't fair.

you see all these couples with hella problems, but they work it out because they love each other or their just scared to leave them because their so used to that person. i have no clue what im doing wrong. i can't even get my ex boyfriend to come hang out with me & i can't even get the guy who says i'm his 'wifey' to have a conversation with me.

well fuck. im fucked.

gaaah. whatever i dont care anymore. it's too frustrating /:

whatevs. im done.

can you tell me where did he go? but i dont want no other girl to get that...

"You can spend minutes,hours,days,weeks,or maybe even months over analyzing a situation;trying to put the pieces together ,justifying what would've,could've happened ...or you could just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on." - tupac

haha hella laughed when i seen that.

mmm im feelin emotional! i got my period tdy after pe. hella gay!!!!

it's cool tho.

i gotta figure out how you stole my heart... i'm loosing grip what's happening?

beeen awhile.

grandparents are back from the flip side! yay!
they been gone since my birthday ): that was a sad excuse of a day. soo many let downs. but is all good. this year my birthday will be perfect. just a simple dinner with the people i talk to the most. which is like down to 2 people who aren't related to me
-_- dam. homegirl needs more close friends. OH! unless xye, kristen & noelle go (:

today. i was in the exact place where i lost something with someone special. and at that moment while i watched the tv, your face was infront of mine & i swear our relationship passed through my head like when someone's life flashes through your head... i saw your face, the way you looked at me during most nights. they way you laughed when i sang and danced to that white chicks songs, haha good times. i even got to talk to you for a bit. which was cool. except you had no interest in talking to me. i still get jealous over you. like you're still my keke. i feel like ive been living in denial for the past 3 years of my life without you. gaaah. the only guy id drop everything for. not even danny. fuck man. i just wish you'd try to be my friend at least. for all the shit i've done for you & the shit you've put me through... you could at least be my friend.

sometimes imy lots. /:

gaaah. i was hella tired & now i'm just thinking. but there's nothing to think about.
kevin, tony, club.

kevin - doesn't even wanna have anything to do with me. it seems. idk if your mad at me or if you just dont wanna deal with me cas my mom. which is such a fucked up reason to just completely stop hanging out with me. esp when i was on my period. it makes me think you didn't stick around because we couldn't have sex anymore... haaahaaa!

what is with men & sex & relationships? rather yet. why is it that a guy only pays attention to his girlfriend when it's a sexual conversation?

maybe i'm just going for the wrong guys...

i just wanna know if you still care about me at least... if you dont love me anymore, then that's fine. sad but at least id let you go. & i wonder if we're still gonna get married when i turn 23. lemmeknow.

tony - doesn't even text me, call me, all he says is O. but i'm not even trippin off it. cas i'm still waiting for that proof baby. not even gonna apologize to my stepdad. how can you first say you are & then tell him to come to you? wtf is that. you said sorry to my mom. what's the difference in saying sorry to my stepdad? freal. grow up.

apologies are everywhere. they'll always be given and taken seriously, so idk what's so hard about doing that...

club - hella excited!!

going with:

jenn & joelle
drina & chad
enoch & jordan
& mee.

i hope it's crackin. i dont even care if the club has good music im gonna have fun! in my yellow bee dress. haha!
i hope i have monies though. i need at least 30 for food. fuckk
but yeah....

um ok over being sad!!

i still want my stars & rockets eyeshadow. ):